They're seriously, seriously flawed books. I found the first one entertaining, but if I gave any plot point 10 seconds of thought, it kind of fell apart. The Swedish version of the movies were entertaining and they got rid of some of the more problematic plot points from some of the later books. But I'm hoping that…

Six months ago, in my grandmother's kitchen:

At this point, Zuckerkorn might be an improvement. Hell, Fonzie might be an improvement.

My mother-in-law said, "Oh," when my husband told her I was pregnant. When he told her it was a girl, she said, "That's nice." On the flip side, my mom screamed and grabbed both of us in a big hug and then started to cry and said, "I'm so sorry, it's just that I'm so, so happy!" Then she started hugging again. …

I would have loved the "Creator" line. And now that I have seen the "Archetecture" line, I'm pretty sure I need to have the "Brandenburg Gate".

Yeah, those sets look really easy to put together, compared with, say, the castles or the space ships (both of which I had and loved when I was a little girl). They couldn't have at least made the girl sets kinda challenging?

And what of the black people who don't use product. My brother, for instance, who is black and just bics his head?

Ugh, all the white barbies looked alike - same hair, same face, same skin tone. It was so boring. My favorite was a Pacific Island Barbie my mom surprised me with just after we boarded the plane for my first trip to Florida. And I had a special fondness for the black Rocker Barbie.

I went to Babies R Us with my mom on Sunday to put together my baby registry. There is so much goddamn pink stuff! On a lot of stuff in the store, your choices are pretty much pink, blue, and either yellow or green. I wasn't consciously doing it, but about halfway through, my mom started laughing and said, "Are you…

Ugh, those people sound insufferable.

A friend of mine decided she was going to do the natural childbirth thing and talked a lot beforehand about how important it was that she be present, that it be as close to nature as possible, etc. Then she gave birth to a 10 pound, 6 ounce baby boy without drugs. The next time I saw her, she said, "Yeah, I don't…

To #3, I would just add that you can keep your horror stories to yourself, especially when speaking to someone who will be giving birth in the near(ish) future. I'm due in April and people have started asking me what my "plan" is (my plan? I'll probably see how things go and react accordingly. Maybe I'll be lucky…

A friend of mine pointed out that in Judeo-Christian philosophy, the pain of childbirth is one of the punishments for Original Sin. By not accepting the pain, you are refusing to accept the punishment that the Almighty has deemed appropriate and failing your fellow humans. I think she's probably at least partially…

My plan is to approach childbirth the way I plan to approach breastfeeding: I'm going to give the natural thing my best shot, but if it doesn't work, I'm not going to bother feeling bad about it.

Oh, Jessica Simpson, I love you so much and I'm so happy that you felt your baby move. But, sweetheart, crocodile tears are not what you think they are.

I went to a really interesting meeting with a bunch of gay men, most of whom were in their 40's and up (at the time, most of the gay men that I knew were in their 20's). Eight of the 20 or so men had been married to a woman and 6 of them were willing to talk about it. One said that he had been having encounters with…

I want to hang out with you and your friends. You guys sound awesome.

My cousin had a polydactyl cat (they're pretty common in Maine). The cat was super smart and used to use the extra toes as an opposable thumb. It was weird and awesome at the same time.

I remember in 2004 hating George Bush with the fire of a thousand suns, and not particularly liking John Kerry but being willing to vote for him. I remember clinging to reports that conservatives/Republicans/religious voters/etc. didn't actually like George Bush that much, regardless of how suspect the reports or…

Someday, I want a pregnancy movie to address the fact that pregnancy movies have led everyone to believe that pregnant women are all 1.) starving all the time, 2.) extremely forgetful, 3.) so emotional that they will cry at everything. A pregnant woman may have all these symptoms, or she may have some combination of…