Yeah, I mean, I'm all for technological advancement, but given the current political climate regarding birth control my mind immediately went to The Handmaid's Tale, where after the evangelical, anti-woman group took over the government, they were able to prevent women from being able to buy things because everybody…

I enjoy that in 2014, luddites now include people who don't want remotely controlled hormone microchips implanted in their bodies and people who don't see the point of Google Glass. Thanks a lot, future!

I believe it says "Stay Tuned for a marathon of Three and a Half Men after the news!"

Earlier this month a pair

Alas, people in a free-market who want to eat meat but can't afford pasture-fed at current consumption levels will, obviously, always choose the cheaper option, irrespective of the consequences (especially consequences that don't visibly, directly impact them in any way beyond said low price). Of course, if we taxed…

Whatever your opinions on GMO's, they definitely bring food prices down, if nothing else.

Women owe me sex! But those sluts better not get pregnant! If they do, they cannot have an abortion and I don't want to pay for the baby! And keep paying for my Viagra!

I once had an Australian stranger come up to me at a bar and say that he thought I was cute, but wouldn't sleep with me because of my "ginger box." I was crushed.

During one of my first forays into the bar scene, a random guy wandered over to the table I was sitting at while my friends played pool. He didn't say anything, just leaned on the table and pulled out his phone with a severely cracked screen.

What is making this a lot funnier to me is trying to wonder what kind of 1990s shorts these were. Were they high-waisted or acid-washed? Were they really a skort? I know I did not own a single pair of attractive shorts during that decade...

Haha, well, this was the weirdest pickup line I've ever received. My friends and I were out at our favorite shitty bar having a good ol' drunken time. One of the regular guys there hadn't seen me in a while, and I think forgot that we knew each other (he had a bit of a drinking problem). We were talking on and off…

One summer a friend and I were at a party and we started talking to these two really nice guys (friends of friends). We both had kindofboyfriends at the time (summer flings), and weren't interested in the guys beyond thinking they were fun and friendly. However, the guys clearly had made some sort of bro agreement…

On a late summer/early fall evening, I was getting ready for bed in my dorm room in Australia, where I was studying abroad.

I just, like, can't deal with his face first thing in the morning anymore.

Can't wait for the clips of him asking men this same question. C'mon turdburger, cough em up.

I can only hope that these are the same rich kids whose parents didn't get them vaccinated because of pseudo-science, and that we can wait for mumps and smallpox to do away with them.

I'm going to submit "thickebag" to Oxford Dictionaries. It's just too good.

What a thickebag.

And I approve.