This 80/20 thing is some r/incel crap

At the very least, the way men treat white and non-black women is a lot better than dating as a Black woman. For Black woman, we learn from a young age that there are only two options for us: career women that intimidate men or baby mama that is looked down on by society, since the majority of Black men are not…

Our closest relatives, the bonobo, don’t display the stereotypical idea of dominance oriented behaviour or heirarchy based sexual activity.

That is textbook toxic masculinity. The idea that social interaction, community, relationships, that all of it is a competition with winner and loser. That is a terribly unhealthy way to engage with other human beings and inevitably leads to emotional issues.

I’ve had a few conversations with men, where they are bitching about an interaction/date they had with a woman who was clearly NOT interested. They’re like, “AUGHHH women! So confusing. So many mixed signals. I don’t get women.” And the men present will nod along.

You know, it was a similar situation to yours that first opened my eyes to male privilege. This was back in 2012, before it was in the social consciousness the way it is today. I was traveling in South America and I was having a conversation with two other American tourists but they were both women. One arrived around…

I’ve had similar things happen. One man that I dated was very bothered by the fact that I have a college degree and he didn’t. After that, I dated a man who had a master’s (whereas I just have a bachelor’s), but I made more money than he did — that didn’t work out, either.

Some good stuff here.

Hmm . . . maybe this is why so many women are besotted with Cardi B and Beyonce and similar entertainers: they’re the missing female protagonist in our popular stories. They’re the women who finally get to overcome resistance on their way to a larger selfhood.

That’s exactly what I don’t get about the zero-sum game mentality. If I fix a leaky toilet, everyone wins. He didn’t have to call someone to come out and fix it (and pay way more money), I didn’t ask him to reimburse me, we have one more toilet to use in the condo, it looks better and will save him money down the road…

I lost a lot of weight for awhile and, clothed, at least, looked Barbie-ish. Men were so much more violent and outright hostile to me than they were when I was as super morbidly obese, when they just ignored me. There is no winning this game called patriarchy.

“I have begun to believe that men see persistence as harmless, perfectly socially acceptable, even admirable.”

It’s kind of a no win situation, but I think the only option is really to be straight-forward in rejection. “Oh, I’m so busy with work” doesn’t sound like rejection, it sounds like try again later. Especially in a society that routinely tells men she likes you, you just have to make it happen.

They’re not silent online, or in communities where they think comments are safe. (I’m a woman who frequently got “friend-zoned” due to my appearance, so I got to hear allllll about other women from my guy friends.)
What I noticed is, yes, there are plenty of men who have a high threshold for embarrassment but it’s...…

When I was on OkCupid (which I call “OkStupid”), I used to get messages like that:

As a gay man, I can kind of (sort of) confirm that this is a behavioral trait shared by all men. The sense of entitlement - that self validation is inextricably tied to sexual conquest. That is not a blanket condemnation of the male sex, just an observation on the current state of ‘masculinity’ as it is interpreted…

As a gay man, I’ll never quite be able to fathom the depths of how far this indoctrination goes with women, but I feel it, too. I don’t *owe* anything to other men, but I still feel conditioned to prioritize their feelings of rejection over my own feelings of calmness and mental security.

As a guy in the dating world I have always appreciated a definite rejection over gentle redirection. I do understand the reasons why ghosting and excuses exist, and I’m sad that women sometimes can’t feel comfortable enough to speak directly. I try to be the change I’d like to see and thank people for honesty.

Yep. It infuriates me that we tolerate men who use emotional deception to have casual sex while we criminalize men who engage in mutually-beneficial consensual negotiated arrangements for casual sex.

I often think about that one girl who when guys would text her “You are beautiful” she stopped demurring and would respond with “Yes, I know.” And the responses she would get would be amazing, in fact, down right hostile. Patriarchy doesn’t want women to be confident in any sort of arena—men make the rules, and the…