A. NAME NAMES!

It's beautiful, but in a very Barbie-fantasy way.

Wait...wait...I have seen this weird video before (the one you described from SUR.) It was called "Ashes and Snow" and it was ridiculous. That has to be it. There can't be another one. At least, I hope not.

That actually pissed me off reading it because I feel like my mother wrote it. Lol. If I had a quarter for every unnecessary no I got from her growing up, I wouldn't be working today.

Thank you. I am so tired of the constant refrain that "today's kids are the most spoiled ever." (And the constant trotting out of that dreadful New Yorker article to support it.) From Hesiod to Bronte to Roald Dahl, people have been complaining about spoiled children and how they will ruin the future of the planet…

Yes. Basically the way I've tried to look at it is this: My daughter is the world's worst troll. If I get angry, then she wins!

Children are smarter than you think. If you don't think you can sit them down, look at them in the eye, and talk to them, then you're the idiot. Even at two you can talk to them. I remember Oprah giving this tip a very long time ago on her show: "Lower your tone of voice when you reprimend them. Don't raise your…

my parents used to beat me pretty good. Same with a lot of my friends. Some of my friends will say that the fact that we all turned out to be decent law abiding is proof that beatings work. However, sometimes I feel like the reason I'm not a murderer has absolutely nothing to do with any beatings I took as a child. If…

Fill them with existential dread that their lives are meaningless when they misbehave?

We had to kill them sometimes on the farm where I grew up. Didn't need $5000 weapons to do it, and we didn't pose for pictures afterwards.

I love that they're trying to pretend like ivory bans are widespread attacks on gun owners, when really, it only affects wealthier assholes with ivory handled antiques or garishly embellished pieces. Basically, this guy:

Anyone who would kill an elephant for 'sport' needs the absolute shit beaten out of them.

You guys see any Axe body spray on this list? No? Well then, STOP FUCKING BATHING YOURSELF IN IT BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE!

Yes, I know some people who don't wear deodorant. Please make sure that you get feedback from your friends, because you aren't as sensitive about your own smells as much as you think you are.

Tom, you made my 14 year old granddaughter go from being a little down to laughing and giggling with this post. We thank you.

Neither to anthropomorphize nor to condone zoos in any way, but this guy seems to be genuinely enjoying himself.

As a Texas grad, I can say Aggies definitely "run" this state. Why, just this morning, I had our department's Aggie "run" to the cafeteria and get me some coffee...

The web's reaction to this dress is exactly how people would react if aliens were to visit the Earth. Think about it: our sense of reality is being challenged in a demonstrable way.

I thought you white/golders were on crack and then that dress switched on me, then switched back! That dress is the greatest troll ever.

Clicked to make sure Cap was #1. Was not disappointed. *puts away the kerosene and matches*