Remember kids.. All alcohol does is let the wanker out that’s inside you.. It only turns you into what you are (or want to be).

Look. That machine gets cards shoved into it’s slot hundreds of times a day. And in dozens of cases each day those cards pull out too soon and no one is satisfied.

I own a used bookstore and yesterday I had the very rare pleasure of getting Michelle’s autobiography in my store. I put it in the window and it sold in 7 minutes. I don’t live in the US either. She’s not just your forever first lady.

The greys aren't joking.

Imma drop a house on all those assholes and give Lizzo the shoes. The End.

“You guys are peeing on me tonight,”

(To the tune of White Christmas)

“Melania in person hits all the senses.”

Since when do colonizers wait for an invite?

Merlin be praised!

They all have competing claims as the home of the Chicken Tikka Masala which, as a former attendee of the British Curry Awards, I can confirm gets very ugly

Thank you for this beautiful truth.

Now THIS is an opinion worth hearing, folks!

Going to London for a good curry is proper amateur hour stuff. Everyone knows that you need to go to Birmingham, Bradford or Glasgow.

Ooh wee... someone set the ball on the tee.

FYI, folks. If you have enough money to travel internationally, you have enough money to protect yourself in case of medical emergency. You need two things:

Looks like somebody forgot to put the transmission in Bark.

I boiled that prayer down kid-sized for bedtime memorization:

If I went to get chicken wings and *didn’t* see black folk dining I would ask to be seated at a better restaurant.

Brings a whole new meaning to “wake and bake”