Toupees are hideous 99.9% of the time.

Obviously, we should all be walking around thinking about yogurt. Amiright?

Oh sweet holy crackers — someone think of the babies!

BFF<333

His reign of tyranny continues. Belieb or die.

Tell that to my Pogs!

Wait, so a Princess Diana Bear isn't a priceless artifact that will one day pay for my retirement? Fuuuuck.

Yeah, contrary to the poem, it looks like Stripes is actually getting along very well with other Tigers.

DON'T YOU DARE! IF THE PRICE GOES ANY HIGHER I'LL HAVE TO TAKE MY KIDS OUT OF COLLEGE.

that day. when my sister ripped the tag off of my Princess Diana bear. and 2nd grade me LOST. MY. SHIT. everyone knows they aren't worth ANYTHING without the goddam hang tag, kacey, you freaking idiot.

This is the same woman who told me I needed to die

Obviously, not sure how old either of you are (also referring to papayamaia, of course), but I can assure (sadly, I'd say) that by mid to late thirties ALL the boys will be on the super fast-track to wantin' a wifey. *sigh*

i used to run into the same problem when i was single. i'd get guys reiterating dozens of times that they weren't looking for a relationship and i'd eventually have to be like, "look. i like your penis. the rest of you is alright for the time being, but mostly this fling is happening between me and your penis."

Me toooooo!

exactly. I may have a little chin, but i do not have a little heart!

yes, yes and yes. I've never met a guy like that, even as a friend? I can't promise my face is all its cracked up to be— I get decently laid less often than you'd think, and the pick up lines are horrendous. I'm down to test drive your face/husband attractor beam though, I love weddings! And I am the best at them, I…

I love you evil Abed.

“I get it, believe me. But what’s hard for people to understand is that she didn’t mean it as racist. It sounds bad, but that’s not what’s in her heart. She’s just from another time.”

I know it's upsetting, because pie is just sitting there, being the best in the world, and nobody questions it. Then cheesecake comes along, and not only is it pie, it's better than pie! Pie looks like shit now. Boo pie! (relatively)

I'm a hetero dude also, but there's no way that guy is hotter than the guy on the right. You sir, know nothing of hot dudes.