I'm succeeding really well at failing, getting high, being dumb, and ruining my credit right now. Weirdly, I don't feel all that free.

Ahhh cool! I'm 25; I'd like to see a graph or something that shows a popularity spike in the name Ellis that corresponds with Burks' years with the Red Sox. I was born in Boston, too, so that's probably a factor.

Ah thanks!! I've never been able to find size 28 anywhere! They're a little pricey, but it might be worth it :)

Ay yi yi. Mine are definitely not that sensitive- I feel like the comically fake-breasted oblivious woman in a movie who doesn't notice when a lobster is pinching at her boobs or something because she lacks sensitivity. I've bonked my boobs off a door jam and barely noticed.

Math is one of those subjects that seem completely dependent of the quality of the teacher. In 8th grade I got put in "retard math" (charming nickname, right?). I had a great teacher, skipped pre-Algebra on his recommendation, and aced Algebra first semester with an amazing, engaging teacher. Flunked it the second…

Follow-up question: What's it like having big bosoms? Bras can actually truly hurt? That sucks! Mine get uncomfortable if I fall asleep in them, but that's about it. Of course, they're not exactly doing any heavy lifting (or any lifting at all...) My best friend has gloriously large boobs that look awesome in dresses,…

I don't mind at all! I love my small boobs, so ask away. I wear a bra because it feels weird not to wear one- like I'm half-naked or something. They're a solid A cup and they move around a lot and I get paranoid about them stretching out or whatever. Also they're on the perky, pointy end of the spectrum, so a bra…

I have the body type of a pre-teen boy (with a booty, thankyouverymuch), so when the Victoria's Secret bra-sizer told me I was a 28A I said "Great! Point me in the direction of those suckers!" And she said they don't carry anything under a 32. A lot of the time the cup puckers open at the top of mah boob. It makes…

...Okay, you seem to have missed my point. By "it's May", I mean that Jeff has had a whole semester of experience with this teacher, and therefore I'm inclined to believe that he knows what he's talking about when he says she's a bad teacher.

It's true that we don't know what's been happening before this video. But it's May, it's the end of the school year, so it would stand to reason that the teacher has been like this all semester and Jeff knows what he's talking about.

I once wrote an angry, rant-y letter to my Algebra teacher. I'd had this great teacher first semester and I understood that shit and had like 106% in the class and I was super proud of my math skills for the first time ever. Then second semester I got switched to this crappy teacher who just didn't make any sense and…

One of my best (girl) friends as a kid was named Tyler. She was a total badass!

I feel like he's my honorary uncle or something. My dad worshiped him and so I grew up hearing tons of stories about Ellis. About lots of baseball players, actually. All my dad's imparted wisdom comes in form of baseball or hockey stories. My favorite bit of life advice came while watching a hockey fight. "Sometimes…

Really!? I wanna meet her, she sounds like my alternate-universe doppelganger. Ellis Burks was named after Ellis Island, so it might be reasonable to guess she was named after one of those- especially if her parents are Red Sox fans.

My dad wanted to name me, his wee little baby girl, after this dude:

It's jarring seeing someone dressed up like that in a normal setting. It was like that scene in ET where all the hazmat suited scientists storm the lovely suburban neighborhood. What the fuck?

Never. I'm 25 now and my friends have started sending Christmas cards. WTF is this shit? I would rather put that $3.25 towards an actual present than a cheesy card that they'll read once and then keep in a pile of junk on their desk for a few months because they feel guilty about throwing it out. Cuz that's what I do…

My neighbor has bees. No one looks good in a beekeeper suit- first time I saw him prowling around in a head-to-toe white mesh outfit I thought to myself "FUUUUUCK, A SERIAL KILLER!!!" Also, his bees sting me and I hate them.

I know! That one blew my mind. It must have some sort of catch, like the roommate runs a taxidermy business out of the kitchen or something. Because damn, $300!! That's a steal anywhere.

Most had easy solutions. Uneven crumbling cement floor? Ehh put down an area rug. And those lofts were just clever. One of my college bedrooms featured a loft made of 2x4s and I just put a chair and bookcase up there and voila! A second floor.