Kumail Nanjiani :) He was on Portlandia last week! He funny.

Plus I'd much rather spend half an hour painting my nails while watching Archer in my pajamas than drive to a nail salon and spend half an hour making awkward small talk with a nail technician. Plus that one bottle will last me years, while that manicure will last a week.

The thing I find suspicious about it is that out of all the bajillions of white people who've appeared on the show, not a single one of them has been fired for having an arrest record. And surely, considering the sheer odds, plenty of them must have had records as well. Ergo, kinda racist, yeah.

I'm quite pleased with pop culture right now! Divergent is a pretty great book that I am not ashamed I've read even though it's YA!

You can't argue with them. So I just gently laugh and shake my head as if they were contrary toddlers who keep pooping their pants (or like, the internet version of this). It frustrates them to no end if they can't provoke you into an enraged debate. This only works on websites with high levels of conservative idiots…

I think there is a difference. I remember a pro-life friend bitching about how that Scott Peterson guy was being prosecuted for murdering his wife and unborn child, and if we lefties like our legal abortion so much, how can we justify charging him with murdering a fetus? I'm not sure this was the legal reason, but I…

Plus a lot of this season has been about showing how shitty it was for women before women's lib. Like you said, Jude's the smartest person at that asylum but she has no power because she's a woman in the most blatant patriarchal structure, Catholicism. And she and Lana (and Shelley! Never forget Shelley) are committed…

I like how you roll! I often have enough candy in my purse to overdose an 8 year old.

Let's find out! It'll be a surprise to me too:

Sterling Mallory Archer, codename Duchess to you!

Preach. Two Uncle Jacks here. Katie has to be the Irish American girl name equivalent- I have four different cousins named Katie, and three aunts named Cathy (the Olds version of Katie). Let's get more original, my ethnic people! Not, like, Renesmee or Kayleeighlyn original, but something!

I don't know about "friend-dating", but making a new friend in general is very exciting and also anxiety producing. Especially when your new-found friend takes your friendship enthusiasm for lesbian interest :( Gotta play that shit cool.

If we're really serious about helping the world's ecological well-being, we should just get rid of humans.

My much younger cousin read me some of her One Direction fan fiction and it was pretty unintentionally hilarious, but also kind of good? It involved Harry and Liam fighting over her-*ahem* some unnamed 1st person character. Upon my suggestion she added in some killer lines like "Bloody hell, Liam, why are you snogging…

LIKE A BOSS!

While watching the inauguration today I started wondering how cool Mrs. Obama would look with natural hair. Answer: so cool! And beautiful. Of course it's her hair, her choice. Even if that choice is fairly limited as a black woman in an arena with very conservative, white beauty standards.

Weirdly, my first presidential opinions also revolved around poop. I think I was in 2nd or 3rd grade when Clinton ran against Bob Dole and my friend announced in class that "Bob Dole lives in a toilet!". The idea delighted everyone and so then the two of us led the "Don't vote for Bob Dole, guys, cuz he lives in a…

That's not really an accurate comparison. Now, what if they did the new cover with hot male models? That would still look effing ridiculous, so I'm gonna say it's the original cover and poses that are absurd and not the fact that it was redone with less attractive dudes.

High, high, ya boff high! Ain't that a friggin shame!

Jenelle! Ya bin smokin' the weed wif Keefah!!! Don' lie ta me Jenelle, ya smokin' weed on tha porch wif KEEFAHH!!