I feel like my cleanliness standards definitely change depending on where I am. And my standards are at their lowest while camping. I'll eat that damn toasted marshmallow, dirt and bits of stick and all, and then later get sticky marshmallow residue all up in my hair. Sticks become utensils, and hand washing, forget…

It depends on how badly I want it. Like, if I just finished toasting a delicious toaster pastry and then accidentally drop it on the floor, I will definitely eat that shit. Just blow off anything that might have gotten stuck on it an I'm good. But I wouldn't eat anything goopy or sticky off the floor. I've had to…

Oh god, all I have to say is that just made me laugh for a very long time. After going to Ikea I just want to shut myself away in a dark room and never see/speak to another human being ever again.

He was wearing a coat, jeez.

They are primates, but they're not apes. Gorillas, chimps, and people are apes. Monkeys is just monkeys. Interesting factoid (not): monkeys only live in South America! Or no, wait, maybe that's only the ones with prehensile tails...

I read tons of books as a kid and my parents didn't let us watch TV and I curse at people online all the time. It's inevitable, dammit.

I've only heard it as "an honest woman" so her using that term for a man, I thought, was turning that nonsense on its head. It made me laugh! Yeah, it's a stupid phrase. But it's one I really only ever hear jokingly these days.

I never fully bought into it. My younger brother and I collected handwriting samples one Christmas from the extended family to compare to Santa's labels and carefully scrutinized wrapping paper choices to see if Santa used the same paper as anyone else. I think we were like 5 and 6 then. We later built a blanket fort…

DAMMIT! Of course I meant meggings! Thank you for helping a poor idiot out :)

And like manorexia.

Yes, this. In the US I haven't seen a doctor in three years and had to quit using the pill because it was too expensive, but in Peru (a developing country) I could go to my on-campus health clinic for free as often as needed. My mom stocks up on her inhalers in Mexico because they're a fraction of the cost compared to…

My thoughts exactly! I don't want to spend my own nonexistant money on that, so the Christmas List it is!

Similar broke-ass boat here. Thank jeebus my brothers agreed we shouldn't get each other anything and my friends agreed to "creative" Secret Santa this year with the caveat that we must create things for free- I have some old oil paints and zero artistic skill, so obviously I'm going to paint my Secret Santa receiver…

My mom started dating women after her divorce when I was 8 or so. I only remember feeling pleased and slightly satisfied that something I'd been wondering about for a while was confirmed- that if boys and girls can love each other, can't boys love boys and girls love girls? That would be fair. (I wasn't a genius, ok,…

Don't worry, it totally works here too!

WHAT? Jesse Pinkman is nothing like Eminem, Jesse's the best and totally original and says 'YEAH BITCH!' in funny and new ways and has that skinny crack addict thing working for him— ok he's totally the new Eminem.

Chick. Chicka-chickawww

Not at all! For an illiterate guy who shares a fold-out sofa with Danny DeVito and whose teeth fall out with alarming regularity, he's extremely attractive. He's an inventor, a writer of musicals, and a full-on rapist- I mean philanthropist!

I have to agree- his main appeal these days is to misunderstood teenz (yes, I crushed hard on him when I was like 15 and Pirates came out). And I have seen his earlier earlier stuff where he was pretty damn hawt like in Crybaby and lovable like in Benny and Joon, but now he's very off-putting and not at all appealing.…

That is word for word the exact card for a 13 year old boy response I composed in my head. Kudos!