he tried to sideswipe the vehicle and missed us by a foot

Goodbye password123 and hello password321.

Since no one could agree on how much contact should be allowed, the league decided that no contact would be allowed.

How to train your dragon is also next-gen exclusively for the Wii U and NOT Xbox One and PS4! So take that fanboys!

I'm not saying good or bad. Just that it's jumped.

I call.

"Titanfall," the most anticipated game of this generation

Ask them if they can get rid of blood stains, fresh blood stains, lots of blood, lots and lots of blood and can they hurry right over before the kids get home from school.

You COULD in fact kill it with fire if you schedule them to come out just once. I recommend torching the van when he's nearly done with your carpet. That'll send a message.

♫ Rocky Raccoon checked into your room
Pet him and he'll bite your face off ♫

Well, that's enough Internet this year...

My 10-year-old wants a $600 Ableton Push midi controller and piano lessons. And a piano. And a customizable phone (I forget the brand), and an Apple laptop. Sorry kiddo. You'll get the $99 keyboard controller that has a little piano keyboard and you can look up lessons on YouTube.

"Pants and Tits" is also the nickname the tabloids gave to Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi.

"Please use a condom."

So much for the Meet and Greet with Al Davis.

Holy shit, a completion in Oakland.

Pictured: One of the lesser Duke brothers.

I want to have a beer or be pan pals with zodiac motherfucker.

"shit4entertaining" would make a good name for a party-supplies store.

Dear Fast and Furious Producers,