Betty Carter: fantastic black jazz singer who VERY early in her career decided nobody was touching her music but her, and started her own record label. You don’t get stronger, cooler, or fiercer than that. It’s unforgivable that women are driven to that but it makes the achievement that much more mindblowing when they…

When did Drake lip sync in a schoolgirl outfit?

Logically, then, men shouldn’t have sex unless they’re prepared to be fathers. That means abstinence for every guy who doesn’t have $250,000 in the bank.

Shoot. Is abortion still “directly opposed to femininity” if I have one while I’m cooking dinner and wearing a halter top?

They’re fine if you’re unattractive and have given up on life. In which case they pair nicely with giant sneakers and backward baseball caps.

I hope your oversized knee-length khaki shorts are shapeless and have lots of pockets so people are spared the (shudder!) details of the male body. And just in case the batteries in my Douche Detector run low.

How about a photo of him clinging to her for a change? You know, since it’s a completely equal relationship.

> We’re setting an extremely high bar for Model 3

> It’s Sunday, the day British tabloids reserve

You are my new hero.

NO!!! I was really hoping to learn about gangsta rap through the safe mediation of white people.

Somebody alert Tyra: “America’s Next Top Supervillain.” They won’t have any problem finding contestants (though if you have the balls to go up against Betsy DeVos, you deserve some kind of prize.)

What? Ed Helms and Demi Moore are DOING IT? The image of a flabby, ordinary white guy having sex with a woman who’s had more faces than Dr. No mesmerizes me. I’m DEFINITELY going to see the putrid dog vomit of a movie Corporate Animals. Thanks, gossip!

Germans are definitely outspoken so I can see them commenting on Heidi Klum’s daughters wearing stilettos. But don’t confuse this with feminism: I watched a German makeover program that pulled off a young woman’s huge fake eyelashes and replaced them with GINORMOUS fake eyelashes.

I married a German last year and moved to Berlin. I want to tell people it’s wonderful leaving America and finding smart people, smart governments, and representational leadership uncorrupted by money. And it’s great to have almost zero of my tax dollars go to Donald Trump.

One minor disconnect in SI’s version of events.

“Everything” about Lena Dunham’s new man is a mystery? Apparently you didn’t notice that when he walks he puts one foot directly in front of the other. That’s a whoooole lot of info there, Sherlock.

Two stones in a ring is a wonderful new tradition. The first means eternal love, and the second means he’s sorry but he didn’t realize the first would be so small.

For 10 years I lived next door to a famous Hollywood psychic. My husband and I (I’m male) were very good friends with her, and over the years became convinced she was real because she never dropped the pretense so it seemed way longer than someone could lie.

I’m in China right now and it’s 105 degrees and humid. I ask for water at restaurants and IT’S WARM. A friend told me warm water cools you down quicker, which is nonsense unless you mean it makes you sweat like a dog and that cools your skin. I went to a tea plantation —again, when it was 105 degrees out — and asked…