If you’re building a conclusion around the fact men’s legs are ugly (“hairy shins and exposed, ashy ankles”) when in a similar argument you wouldn’t say women’s legs are ugly, you are a douchebag.

You know what? I disagree with my own comment. It prioritizes my feelings as an LGBT person.

> Morgan was castigated for going on

I can’t get past the idea there’s more than one joke here.

Wait wait wait. You missed the saddest part! The reporter pointed out that Ms. Smith was publicly outed as a lesbian at the age of like NINETY. Her reply? “Yes, I probably should have come out earlier.” YA THINK?

Trump is 71. The only time you’ll hear banging from his bedroom is when he had too many Hot Pockets for lunch.

I’m with you.

Sometimes in NYC you can find a line at the Uggs store. No New Yorkers in the crowd: tourists bring their bad taste here.

The problem is none of these things happened so guessing is just a waste of time. Unless you can somehow draw a line between “The Nazis lose” and “Donald Trump becomes president.”

Let me ask something in all seriousness. Mr. Kelly is sexually active in unconventional ways but his partners are of age and consensual. How is this article not slut-shaming him?

Great! Dance naked in the rain. Date 20-year-olds. Record a disco album. Don’t steal gum from Wal-Mart.

Next Trump is going to expose what a crummy architect Frank Lloyd Wright was by buying one of his houses and cutting a hole in the roof.

“A man kissing another man is the greatest acting challenge an actor can ever face.”

I’m thinking this movie will be just like Precious except Gabourey Sidibe sings, sleeps with a Russian billionaire and gets kicked off a Will Ferrell film.

For this to work doesn’t every soda-buying customer have to pay in cash? If they use a card and you move the soda to a new check you can’t steal any cash and the last check doesn’t match the credit card.

My takeaway too. Yeah, that’s how a guy will win me, by saying “After dating a bunch of assholes I realized you were better than I thought.”

I wish there was something I could say other than good luck to you. Staying positive is the only choice and breaking down occasionally is the sad reality. When cancer is finally cured I’m going to spend 436 days dancing from one end of the world to the other.

Hmm. I see this as the opposite of Vincent Foster: “Lawyer With Trump Ties Found Dead After Failing to Procure Damaging Evidence Against Hillary.”

One cover teases an article called “How to Live Forever.” Don’t tell me: turmeric, right?

“But some of the most controversial parts ... remain: it ... allows insurers to opt out of ... coverage of ... prescription drugs....”