Was this article sponsored by Trojan?

I thought it was "FORMAT" your hard drive, not "REFORMAT". I'm either way more or way less of a nerd than I thought I was.

Better figure out which ones are dangerous BEFORE you let them do neck manipulation

Sounds like a masseuse.

Nighttime ends after the Dark Overlords of Hell have released humanity from their crushing, sulfuric stranglehold and we return to shooting each other for having different skin colors.

San Antonio, FL?

Yeah, an important nuance to all of this is the distinction between what her doctors want, and what UNOS considers appropriate. As doctors, it's our obligation to do everything possible for our patients. This creates significant societal conflicts of interest (see also, Health Care expenditures as ridiculously high…

They are homophones. BOOM

Most things cause cancer, except the things that prevent it

Oh, for a minute, I thought you said "There is zero possible link between MSW and anal cancer" [italics/bold mine], suggesting that you were including ALL possible and/or atypical and/or unconsidered sexual behaviors that might put MSW at increased risk for anal cancer. My bad .

Holy shit, you and Fred Rogers win the internet.

Better or worse than a Cleveland Steamer?

True dat

Calling my mother typically results in a 15 minute conversation about 14 minutes longer than it should be.

There's a first time for everything. Twice daily soaks in isopropyl alcohol work wonders though.

Good chance you already have HSV1. Herpes labialis.

I've seen this girl wandering around the E.D., late at night. She's a frequent flyer, usually seeking Demerol shots.

9. Wake up two days later with a fever and pus coming out of the wound.

Seriously? You don't watch that much porn, I guess.

"HPV-induced squamous cell carcinoma of the oropharynx (the kind Douglas had) has a much better prognosis with treatment than the same tumor caused by smoking, but if you smoke along with an HPV-induced cancer, the prognosis appears to mimic smoking-induced cancer"