Gopher Fans: where their favorite players play for other teams.

I found some cups in a corner full of a warm, yellow, foul-smelling liquid. Might be piss, but to be sure, is there a practicing doctor in the house?

Ghost of Ernie Banks: Let’s play two!

Okay, let's say you lost 71-66. Feel better that way?

Darn, no Okafor-Towns matchup. Instead we’re saddled with Okafor-Kaminsky, aka the two best players in college basketball this year.

CALL THE HANDBALL ON BALLACK, REF

Is anyone surprised Tony Romo and Jason Garrett are there? I bet they can't wait for opening day at Yankee Stadium.

Lillard broke a universal rule among all officials: a player is never allowed to express his youthful exuberance at any time because back when the official played...

It's Indiana, not Insteve.

Tim Breedlove, the accountant who sent the letter, confirmed that Smith planned these gifts out before his death. "It was his plan," Breedlove said over the phone.

Actually that would be impossible, since the scoring team has to kick off to start the next possession in football. Have you ever watched a football game?

I think you're overestimating the percentage of the population that listens to investigative journalism podcasts. Now, if the trial was the subject of a Michael Bay movie, that would be a different story.

Good point. I've always felt that if the NFL would adopt the Iowa High School Association's Conduct Guidelines for the Future Farmers of America Parliamentary Procedure Competition they could reduce thuggishness by 25% and Gangbangerishness by 33% across the board.

In fact, when I used to go to elementary school, if you got tossed out of any kickball event, that was a one-game sitout from the Playground Blacktop Association, automatically. One full pout on top of the one you got tossed from, and I wish they'd just go to that rule in the NCAA's (which is used for foursquare)…

Nobody cares about your high school.

Sorry, nope. Basketball uses the basketball rulebook instead of the football rulebook. Crazy, I know. Flagrant 2 is ejection, not a suspension.

he's boxing out the guy directly behind him, there's no guarantee that if he doesn't go up & try to rebound or tip the ball that guy won't get it or tip it in. are we really at the point where we chastise players for giving refs "an opportunity" to make a horseshit call?

I'm pretty sure that "March Madness" was first coined by someone from St. Louis.

and how difficult it was to keep the ball down in that process and not bouncing all over the place.

So which is the Cardinal way? Fatal DUI, or just DUI?