Perhaps they were time-traveling Cardinals from the 15th Century who were hungry after having excommunicated Copernicus for his anti-Ptolemaic notions of a heliocentric solar system.

Nah, freehand blow torch. It's amazing what you can accomplish.

Aliens, man. Aliens.

Fox 5's own Ernie Anastos decided to stop on by to check out the chicken.

You'd think that would be awesome, but unfortunately they feel the same way about chicken as revenge.

....how?!

We're doing about average, don't despair. I went to music school, too, and am doing pretty well. Many of my old classmates are thriving, loving their work as teachers, performers, gigging, writing, whatever. (Some aren't but we all sort of knew that they couldn't cut it)

That place is right next door to my apartment. It doesn't surprise me the owners are Pakistani; one of the best kabob places in the area is in this shopping center (it has two branches next to each other, and one across the street) and is a very popular location.

It sounds so stilted and weird. Reminds me of this:

No one threw a plate at an old man. I have a feeling you didn't do well on the reading comp portion of the SATs.

This is a really weird way to announce you're Hillary's new speech writer, Erin.

Oh god, I was at a restaurant for a friends birthday, when I accidentally took out a kid. I was just walking towards my table when I heard a scream, and realised I had just walked through a six year old, essentially punting him onto his face. I was mortified, I helped the kid up and apologised, and didn't think too…

I have the feeling that there are enough Iron Shiek stories out there to do a BCO just on him. He's like the definition of performance art.

SHEIK TAKE DOWN JABRONI SALAD BAR AND GIVE CHICKEN RESTAURANT A CAMEL CLUTCH.

Female and black are totally inappropriate descriptors of a role model, but American? Sounds good.

you're a fucking idiot.

As Colbert said, "I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir.'"

That's one badass and inspiring Lt. Col. right there.

Pointing out race doesn't divide us when people are still discriminated against on the basis of their race

Counterpoint: