I once thought I was playing Eve for several hours, turns out I just change my PC wallpaper to a starscape and left Excel open

Two things.

Eve, that video game that is way more fun and entertaining to read about all the crazy things that happen instead of actually playing it.

“What a fucking travesty. President Trump will put a stop to these pussy terrorists refusing to risk their lives for our amusement.”

That she found a much older man isn’t the story here. It’s that the much older man happens to be Jon Lovitz. And that they teased out the big reveal over several meticulously crafted Instagram posts.

it worked for Woody Allen? LOL ew I feel gross now.

Aww. He looks good, like a male Jeremy Renner. (Sorry Jeremy.)

No I saw that too but that’s like two things. You telling me the ONLY non-writing jobs he could get was UPS or pot farming? If true, then fine I guess. But that’s not what he says. He doesn’t say he’s been sending out 50 resumes a week to regular jobs and can’t get hired. He just mentions writing and these two random…

I’m probably being a huge asshole but I have trouble understanding how the non-custodial parents not paying child support are the victims here.

Related: I had a high school classmate who was skinny and hella flexible. Once he discreetly took a sip of milk, then while seated in an easy chair proceeded to: unzip (but not unbutton) his jeans; stick his hand in his pants and stick his thumb through the open zipper; suck on the thumb for a minute; then spit out…

OH AND. I totally forgot, new hair color. Hot purple roots were a mistake, but the rest is pretty good!

Or nah.

Add making me side with Fox News to the reasons I hate Donald Trump.

I feel so weird when the NFL does something right for a change.

“The reverse was true when a job attracted more men.”

Well, at least now there’s a solution to the whole “CEOs are grossly overpaid” situation: more women in executive roles!

Wiz and Mia would make a cute couple.

This Kinja is about as great as Rubio’s campaign.