Yeah, but then my joke doesn't work. Let's just pretend it's decrepit so we can have a good laugh.

It's actually both stylish and functional, and you can totally reach your bottle without getting off the toilet.

They have set off an area for jetpack takeoffs and landings as well.

Didn't you read? You can set up a nice little table spread at the Secaucus NJ Transit station, between the dead homeless guy and the Dunkin' Donuts.

One of the downsides of a system in which those accused of crimes are tried by a jury of their peers is that those who are admired by their peers will be more likely to receive the benefit of the doubt and escape justice. Given the intense public pressure not to charge Winston, it appears unlikely that they would…

Yeah, but you were asking for it.

A game based on a movie based on games based on toys.

Someone pick up the big red phone to Gawker and get Caity Weaver over here for a consultation as to whether asking the Mayor to get out of your seat iz okay. ASAP!

won't work unless they let you vote with GIFs

Stop oppressing me, breeder.

Dude, take your preconceptions about gender roles and stuff them up your cis privilege bunghole. This is designed to be entertaining for all ages, and there's nothing weird about adult males devoting themselves to this game. What about guys who collect comic books, huh? Are they pedos because those are for kids? …

What an asshole remark.

At this point, he's nothing more than a Reddit troll with a huge platform.

Bullshit. Call me when it's deep fried.

College-Aged Me: "Guys, check this out. The Blitz Box. 15 bucks for two burgers, two fries and a 20-piece nuggets. We can split it among the three of us—something different than $5 larges from Little Caesars for a change. Let's hit the bong and go."

Moral compass? Give me a fucking break. We're talking about people playing old video games here.