Maybe John Olerud had the right idea all along.

the retirement of offensive lineman Richie Incognito

I’ve read this story three times and I still can’t figure out what the fuck is going on. I’m just going to assume that all three of these people are probably assholes.

Bayatpour: “Schlemiel!”

As my old coach used to say, hit ‘em where they ain’t

You’d think a Packer would know what’s in his luggage.

I was there as a Pistons fan. It was both awful and breathtaking at the same time.

I feel like that game is one of those things where, if you watched it happen live, you’ll never forget it. That closing run is imprinted in my memory forever.

Getting involved in Rugby is a great way to avoid drunkards.

Only once in a blue ball will Theismann get his idioms right. Until then, you just gotta turn a blind herring to it.

This was not how I imagined a Republican would get caught up in a pegging scandal

What the fuck does global warming have to do with this?

12th man hates 13th amendment.

It’d be cool to see more of him.

Are we sure she actually petted the dog and wasn’t just examining its suitability as a future coat?

You want to feel old, realize all the bands of your youth are now on shitty packaged nostalgia tours that you used to make fun of Baby Boomers for seeing. My parents lost their shit when Steppin’ Wolf played the county fair and I rolled my eyes and whined. Yet, the Offspring played my local county fair last…

Blink if you need help.

This is the worst episode of “Let’s Make A Deal” I’ve ever seen.

Amen Coroner