Call the cops. Animal cruelty is illegal (at least in California).

He always looks to me like the actual physical personification of how patchouli smells.

That's the point, though, isn't it? By not giving a qualifier on "top scorer," you are automatically including women AND men. By giving the qualifier, men's, you are simply acknowledging that they are two completely different tournaments. Unless I'm way off base, I didn't interpret the author's desire to co-mingle…

"Some people survived, therefore it must've been awesome!"

Does your employer provide health care? Then you're entitled to legal medications to maintain your health. End of motherfucking story.

I had to scroll down WAY TOO FAR to find someone who wants to eat this.

They could have just called this "The Week Before My Period."

Not in a goddamned interview to hawk an album which you've recorded as a persona that you adopted after your first try at a music career failed miserably.

"OMG OMG OMG I LOVE YOUR BOOTS" Could this have been any cuter?

except Lady Antebellum doesn't mean "Lady Slave Times" Antebellum means "before the war". It is America that associates it directly to the neoclassical Greek Revival Architecture of the southern plantation movement from the German and Celtic people settling after the Louisiana Purchase in 1803.

Newspapers feel better against the skin than satin sheets. Just ask any hamster.

This is probably my favorite photo from this shoot. Yowza, get 'em girl:

Yeah, like the time I ran into an ex and he had a tattoo of my face on his arm. I was not pleased. And we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together.

I read this as:

John Mayer has a bang box that he brings out when with friends? How would that even be convenient? Does it have a handle? IS IT A CABOODLES?