Swans are beautiful majestic assholes, geese are gross belligerent assholes with green shit. Their V formations are pretty but mostly because it means they're far away.

I remember when I was on birth control: I was in heat for days.

Or, you know, Doctors/Nurses *could* be taking 5 minutes to ask the child: "Do you feel safe at home? Does anyone ever hurt you?" - potentially allowing that child to speak up about abuse they may be experiencing, but are afraid to tell their parents about (or can't).

You've seen nothing until you've seen my retired steamfitter 70 year-old ex-USMC father lean out the door of his Bonneville and call you a 'selfish fucking asshole' for impatiently honking at him as he waits for a family of ducks to safely cross the road.

You're welcome:

Until they're as cold as your frigid heart, you nasty bitch!

Just like, butt-ier. Like, 20% more butt-like.

Agreed! I am so sick of seeing these weird heteros with pictures of their differently-gendered spouses all over their damn offices. It's truly gross. Keep it to yourself! You want to come over to my desk on a Monday and chat about the awesome meal you and YOUR WIFE had over the weekend? Get your fucking personal shit…

"OK, so who actually is the head of the Muslim peace movement if such a group even exists?"

I love this response, Erin.

LOL except we have a 70 character limit on headlines.

I do feel there is one in English. They are, to my understanding, fuckwits.

Jesus fucking Christ learn to use the shift key.

I was bouncing back and forth with a confused frown, going "all I see are booths and some stools—is this a metaphor?"

What if Susan Patton is pulling off the mythical META-TROLL, and it's just a cheap ploy for ratings?

You hire a bigot, you are a bigot, and if it means that people might actually have to do some due diligence and the racists and rapists are denied employment because of their toxic beliefs, good.

Now I wouldn't say that *in my best bugs bunny voice*

The one redeeming thing about the pelleting is that they can be vacuumed up.

Addendum: a photo of me and my bun at White Castle