The only thing haunting the White House are the ghosts of Trump’s monster bowel movements. However, there was the one time a visitor swore they saw a ghost but it was only Trump Jr. after burying his face in a pile of coke. 

Celebrities are just like us when they need help they stay with friends, except they stay with literally a person who starred in friends.

The lack of Sarah Paulson may very well be the reason this might actually be good.

No one offered to let von der Leyen sit on their lap? Progress!

Y’all know what this means...writing a book  is the “let me introduce myself to the country while also controlling the narrative” portion of the 2024 presidential campaign.

That Kate Winslet movie sounds fascinating - I had no idea that the bones of lesbian dinosaurs might have some morphological differences from straight or bisexual ones!

TBF, I doubt Melania married the slug because she thought he was presidential material.

P.J., Tobin and Squee will vouch for him as a stand-up dude!

It is. More specifically, it is still sexual assault because, under Minnesota law, it is third-degree sexual misconduct (a felony, the same crime Khalil was originally convicted of) to have sex with someone who is either “mentally incapacitated” OR “physically helpless,” physically helpless being defined in part, as…

tl;dr—Khalil can still absolutely be convicted of the same crime he was originally convicted of, because Minnesota law makes it illegal to rape someone who is asleep (which the victim was).

It is, and I think the court basically said as much. The problem is he was charged with a statute specifically written to address a rapist drugging their victim, which he didn't do. If they had just used the normal rape charge, this wouldn't have happened.

Given the labor conditions in sneaker factories, I’m sure most sneakers come with a drop or more of human blood.

I hope this doesn’t sound petty, but the statistics will back me up: Ladies, do not fuck Republicans. It is literally averse to your health and safety.

He’s simply Matt’s ward, like Robin is to Batman 

Didn’t we all call this about Gaetz three years ago? The only question was which gender the quietly groomed young one would be.

It used to be common for gay men to ‘adopt’ their younger lovers.

“dig out your Bible!”

It has been accurately said that universities like Harvard are really hedge funds, with an educational program that serves as a fig leaf.

Paris Hilton is a nobody with money.

So Letterman did to her what she did to people on her tv show and she’s whining about it? The only difference I see here is that she was a bored, entitled heiress when Letterman was allegedly being a dick to her, and when she was being a dick to people, her victims seemed like just regular folks. I never understood…