Scratching an itch is 100% physical. You don't need to be in a certain mindset to make it effective. Having an orgasm—at least for me—is a whole different story. If I'm by myself I just can't get into the right headspace. Once my husband is there to get in on the action—no issue. By myself, though? Not happening.

Oh, I missed that! Thanks!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't she still have to pay if she had been expelled for some other reason? I thought it was common practice to still have to pay for unfinished semesters. My husband's screw-up cousin got kicked out of college for drugs or something and he still had to pay. Again, I could be wrong—I…

When I was a little girl, my dad always was the one to tuck me in at night. We had this little routine we'd always do: I'd ask for a glass of water, he'd go get it. While he was getting the water I'd hide under the blankets. When he came back, he act surprised and say "Where did Elena go? I don't see her anywhere. Oh…

Look. My husband and I are both gamers. Video games are a huge shared interest of ours, and part of the reason we even got together in the first place. However, what you're describing is excessive and unacceptable. He needs to get his priorities straightened out. Immediately.

Masturbating does NOTHING for me. Not a damn thing. I've tried many times and it it is just not for me.

My husband wants one of each. No more, no less.

Yes. Why wouldn't it be?

I kind of know how you feel. I spent several years working as a writing tutor at my university, and I was damn good at it. Now, even though I don't work there anymore, people always assume I'll proofread their 30 page paper for nothing.

I'm in the Midwest. We have an O'Charley's and a Cracker Barrel, and I guarantee you more people have been to the latter than the former.

Is Vanilla Ice having some kind of hashtag stroke?

Can we get him on loan to whip our guys into shape? Please?

I just worked in the Student Academic Support Services office as a writing tutor. And holy shit did some of those kids need it.

My husband's cousin named her kid Jaxon and it makes me cringe every time I see it written/typed.

Re: the Farrah Abraham quote

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me to proofread their term paper, with no intention of paying me, I would be a goddamn millionaire. I used to get paid $8/hr to do this. Why do you think I'll do it for nothing?

I went to school with a girl from Eastern Europe and she thought this was totally normal. Like, if you had something in your eye, you'd have someone lick it. No big deal. The rest of us were like "Uh...no. That is not a thing here."

My biggest takeaway from this is to avoid mandolins like the plague.

What a turd.

I'm pretty sure I would rather kill myself than wear drop-crotch pants.