“I’m a shark on Shark Tank.”

I kinda sorta get the idea that in order to reinforce the platform at the convention you don’t just wanna give up and potentially skew the delegate count.

Considering that he has exactly zero percent odds of winning the nomination, does anyone else feel that Bernie is actively trying to fuck over the Democrats at this point?

The real question is, is she gonna be a Sarandon-type and perhaps tell kids not to vote in the general, or to vote for Trump, because it will bring the “revolution” (lol sure) faster than if Hillary is president? Because if yes, fuck her. If she’s just in it for the ride until Hillary wins the nomination, fine.

All the claps for the deep cut reference!

“This one’s wet, and this one’s wet, and this one’s wet.”

To be brutally honest, I’d quite possibly freak out if I was in that situation, however I’d be freaking out at the Stub Hub customer service, not the ticket taker.

You’re Mister Stevens?

That’s not genuine Western wear. That’s what “singing cowboys” wore back in the 1930's through 1950's (ref: Gene Autry, Roy Rogers, et al). It’s a showpiece. But then, that’s EXACTLY what we’d expect a self-fluffer to wear.

“Do you know who I am?”

First comedy and now this. When will Family Guy stop ruining things.

Yeah, his self-importance is astounding. His ego is huge and terribly fragile if he can’t bear not to be given ‘special’ treatment when he needs medical attention fairly quickly.

Does he really think the people having emergencies in the emergency room give even half a shit about some random white guy who looks like every other white guy on this planet?

We’re told [Calvin Harris] wanted a private room, and when they said one wasn’t available he hopped off the gurney and left ...”against medical advice.”

A Refinery29 piece yesterday on copycats and counterfeits and Ventememes and all that shit mentioned the (assumedly costly) scrap that Shop Jeen and Chanel got into over some Chanel-esque iPhone cases. It sent me down a rabbit hole that left me wondering how on earth this business was still going and feeling confused…

I am 100% okay with the flaming death of a company that sells “will commit sins 4 chipotle” shirts. To teens. For fifty fucking dollars.

“I sold my friend the drugs she used to overdose, and I went to prison, but I learned *sooo* much about myself in the process ❤️”

“judgmental, self-absorbed, and unreflective,” should be xoJane’s tagline.

As a large busted lady, I can tell you from experience: big titties look like big titties, no matter what you cover them up with.