I am so glad I am too old to know what the fuck is going on anymore.

How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

Uniqlo is a Japanese company and it feels like a lot of their sizing is still Japanese. I think as they get more comfortable in the American market that will change.

I’m sick in bed (literally, typing this in bed, ah technology) and all I have been doing between naps and writing my will is watch Hamilton bits on Youtube.

So... are they hiring? Do they need an English major?

It’s either that or murder the people who moved the deadline up by a month and murder is usually frowned upon in corporate America.

Thanks. I got the okay to work from home this weekend, so I’m going to be handling spreadsheets in my pajamas while I watch Netflix.

I feel like I missed all the fun because I’m drowning in this work project that takes all my attention. I’ve worked like twenty extra hours. I am so tired.

Captain, my captain.

AHAHAHAHAHA I JOINED THAT! Oh god, the shame! Good times, good times...

Ugh, this reads like the self-important delusions of grandeur self-styled “witches” would post on goth Livejournal communities. Good for you, you read Poppy Z Brite and watched The Craft. Stealing bones is beyond the goddamn pale.

God, he’s such a scummy asshole but he’s an incredible guitar player. It makes me so angry.

I still jam out to “Daft Punk Is Playing At My House” every so often. I’m uncool. I admit it. But yeah, James Murphy ALWAYS came off as a hipster tool. Not a shock.

I don’t even have an Instagram and I think the “popular posts first!” change is bullshit. It’s for them to get more ads on your feed. Absolutely fucking no one wants anything but reverse chronological. It’s the only way social media makes sense.

I have never been so happy. That story is perfect. Thank you.

Dear god, I hope that sign is real. It would make my week. It’s beautiful.

Your move, J Crew.

My friend and I in college were playing Resident Evil at 3am during a storm. We were doing pretty good, had the lights off, were laughing and joking. Then the dog happened. I had the controls, walking down this normal hallway when a giant zombie dog crashed through a window and attacked. I screamed. My friend…

I saw this on my morning Twitter reading before I got out of bed and just kept on scrolling. This goddamn fucked up world. I feel like I’m desensitized to this shit now. What the fuck does it say about this messed up world when mass shootings and terrorist attacks are such a regular occurrence that they illicit…