o_O....

Does the blood of virgins one have almonds in it? If so, I’ll take a dozen.

All I want is a GODDAMN MARS BAR but since I live in America all I get is fucking Hershey’s.

The cake chocolate is a lie. Hell, Hershey’s uses rotten milk in their bars. It’s all terrible. Merry Christmas!

EXCELLENT!!! They were so fucking electric. I saw them in a small venue and it was awesome. They played most of their songs and the encore was incredible. If you have the chance to see them, I fully recommend them. I haven’t had that much fun at a show in forever.

Yeah. It’s a goddamn shame. A lot of the scalper bots are owned by groups like Ticketmaster so they’re getting paid like crazy for people to re-buy their own tickets on their own scalper site.

Way more obscure than the likes of Adele though. The only band I didn’t have trouble getting tickets to this year was Fitz and the Tantrums and I think that’s because the venue had their own ticket page. No Ticketmaster shenanigans.

It’s at the point now that it isn’t even worth it to try and see a big name act. The agita is immense. Hell, I had trouble getting tickets to the Decemberists and barely anyone knows who they are. Trying to see an act like Taylor Swift or Adele just seems like an effort in futility. I would never even attempt it.

I was at the mall last weekend (condolences welcome) and every single store was packed except the giant American Apparel. A huge space, stark white and super bright, completely empty. Even the J. Crew had a small crowd. I didn’t even see an employee in the AA store. It was surreal.

God, that’s kind of sad. I understand why they’re doing it but it’s sad just the same. I was in Disneyworld in October and never once did I feel unsafe or even think about the implications that someone would bust in with a gun or a bomb. Sitting at home now I realize how incredible naive that is of me. Damn.

Nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

*watches trailer*

If the contest was “which presidential candidate do we want to bludgeon to death with sticks?” then yeah, Trump would totally win the Hispanic vote.

Ehhhh. Get Lin-Manuel Miranda involved and then maybe the needle on my give a damn meter would tick up.

Bring on the stores from other countries! I’m kind of tired of the stores we have. I want new styles. Everything looks the same lately. Uniqlo was a fucking revelation when it arrived in my city.

Someone just give Leo an Oscar before he kills himself.

Greek yogurt is like lumpy wallpaper paste. I hate how it’s taken over fucking everything. Grabbing a yogurt parfait at Au Bon Pain or Starbucks used to be a quick, relatively healthy breakfast for this on the go cube prisoner but now they’re all Greek and taste absolutely disgusting.

Scientology.

Yeah, and everyone who clicks that they are 18 to get onto porn sites are totally not lying too, right?

At last, our long national nightmare is over.