I stopped buying Pringles when I realized that I can’t help but eat an entire can in one sitting.

You’re going to hell. Save me a seat on the bus. +1.

13 year deal? This is such a dumb plan. So, in 2032, the Phillies plan to pay $15million to a 39 year old Harper, after the west coast gets washed out to sea in 2025 and the entire country is in the rubble of nuclear fallout?
Great plan, geniuses! 

Dozens of people can finally breathe out.

To really put the duration of this contract into perspective, when it expires, R. Kelly will try to have sex with it.

#FFS can we please retire the term “jackbooted” ?

This is a good take because drivers are never distracted and couldn’t possibly hit a pedestrian paying attention and legally crossing the road.

It’s not real until Apple creates a folding screen 5 years later for $3,000. #hides

...or “guns in Chicago.”

You say that as though we can’t see your brief post history.

Thank god we don’t have a gun problem in this country.

I want to encourage all the Gawkerati who apparently desire to burn everything to the ground, to venture out to the Ohio/WV/Kentucky tri-state, and proudly tell all those poor saps out there how they bravely stood up to the forces of gentrification and told Amazon that the city didn’t need those 25,000 jobs.

quick, someone else is talking about a game released outside of the 90s, go let them know when that game came out. lol.  fuckin forum police, lol.

By “their men” you mean the ones that are their close blood relatives, right?

Y’all Qaeda’s big difference is their wimmenfolk gotta look sexy for their men.

Because your tailgate handle would than have to be moved off center, which is a no-no from a styling perspective.

If you’re using a tow ball as an attachment point for anything other than a trailer, you’re fucking stupid.

Shh!  The Gummi Bears are a secret.  Don’t let others ruin this gem from our childhoods.

The Porco Rossco one mostly makes me sad it’s not the Sea Duck. Friends for life through thick and thin with another Tale Spin!