Driving a Hellcat though Portland is second only to rolling coal through Portland for hedonistic fun. I can only imagine the concern-trolling Twitter hashtags and Buzzfeed lists that will follow your cruise.

Circuit of the Americas. It's wide enough that you don't have to run half the race under caution when the cars inevitably crash every 15 minutes, it appears to be made of American flags, the stands would fill to the brim, and because America.

Road Atlanta, have NASCAR alternate between this and the speedway on a yearly basis.

There's a guy with a leaf blower. And some other guy with an umbrella.

If they won't hand out pretzels in an attempt to save money, they sure won't invest in missile defense systems. Great now I want pretzels.

I'm going to have to say belt sander racing.

I like noise more than torque. And I like engines more than motors. And I like gasoline more than batteries.

Transmission whine. Welcome to the future; it sucks balls.

How do the drivers keep themselves from falling asleep out of boredom?

MUCH APPROVE!

I wanna go fast!

Here you go.

My dog is a *huge* fan of this as well. When I still had my Miata, she loved going for rides!

#1 breed!

Uhh.. duhh. Thats why I took my dog in my Porsche everywhere...

Marress is now free on bail

Failure.

What we didn't see is the owner changing 3 head gaskets while traversing the entire mudpit.

Am I the only one who thinks the M4 sounds like a droning bumble bee?