“Their black Labrador retriever was found slain in a ditch 15 miles from their home.”

And this is why you wait to announce a pregnancy. Not to mention, what this man did was terrible violating and I hated every second of the original video. I do wish them the best, though.

Well, I didn’t exactly live there. I was there for about 23 hours.

FUCK YOU, IRAN. DO NOT DESTROY THE BEAUTIFUL LIFE I LIVE, IN WHICH I WALK IN MY DOOR, PICK UP A NEARLY PUBESCENT CHILD AND SIT HIM ON MY LAP FOR DINNERTIME, THEN ENJOY A DELICIOUS, NUCLEAR-EXPLOSION-FREE MEAL.

Ok, sure, it was a really special day actually.

I don’t know about that, but your comment reminds me of my great-grandmother near the end of her life when she wasn’t often lucid, when asked what she had for breakfast at the nursing home one time. Her response?

“Shut up! You’re stupid!”

I’m sure they’ll find this suggestion shocking, but maybe they could get jobs? By my count, there are 7 legal adults living in the home, and the youngest Duggar child is 5, an age when most children can start going to kindergarten.

I think it’s important to specify that BeDazzling one’s labia does NOT, I repeat, NOT involve the use of an actual BeDazzler. ::shudder::

My name is John. Just John. Do I ever get called John? No. Johnny. John Boy. Jonathon (which is a different name). Johnny Boy. Johnny Johnny Bingo Cards. Sharkie. Jay. Jane. Chris (which is my middle name but how do they know??!). Or written, Jhon. Fuck the world and let it burn.

Nope, my unusual three-syllable name and I have made it well into oldhood without a nickname (to my face).

Seriously. It’s not asking a lot. Simply address me how I’ve introduced myself to you. It’s basic courtesy.

How do you get “mouthy” with someone over the subject of saying your name right? Because I want to believe there’s a way, and yet if she’s already corrected someone once and they didn’t get the picture then your assistant sounds like kind of a dick.

YOU SHUT YOUR GODDAM MOUTH FINGERS WITH THE TYPING.

You can get silicone earring backs on Amazon that enclose the posts completely. They are mad expensive for what they are (something like $9 for one pair) but I just use them for all my earrings. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QZKVH2Y?…

If only he was a literal cliffhanger, by which I mean, on an actual cliff hanging by his fingertips, while I stand over him, my decision to help the only thing between him and his plummeting death.

That would be the absolute best thing in the world. Ab-so-lute-ly the best thing. Trump, Republican nominee for President. Jesus Christ on a Cracker. I’d watch that campaign.