Sigh. I hate the “it gives me the flu” people. Our nanny got a stomach bug after getting her flu vax, and tried to claim she got the flu from the shot. No. No you didn’t. That is not the flu, and that is not how you get the flu. That’s not how any of this works.

Well, it’s not one of the listed side effects until toscatiosi reports it to VAERS as an adverse event. Then of course we’ll know for sure that flu vaccines cause corn-ears.

Fair caveat, but the vast majority of frozen fries cannot be cooked well enough to overcome their frozenness.

You are wrong. Just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong. There is nothing that approaches the deliciousness of a fresh cut french fry.

To be fair...

Oh, I can assure you that if there’s a blockage, it’s entirely possible not to have poop in your poop. I just recovered from a digestive system issue during which I pooped nothing but clear mucous — gobs and gobs of clear mucous forcefully shat out of my raw asshole — for a week. I’ll never be the same after living…

I was a blubbery mess during that one. And I’m known for having a heart of stone. I think a comprehensive list of movie scenes that have made me cry is as follows: Toy Story 3 ending; Charlotte dying; Marley dying; the little boy in My Dog Skip mistreating Skip. The end.

Get a better sense of humor, if that’s your attempt at a joke. My point is that you can’t tell which kid has a disability and which kid has an inconsiderate parent, so don't make assumptions.

Or faint. I can't tell you how many times I narrowly avoided passing out on the train. It's one of the great injustices of pregnancy that when you need a seat the most, no one knows you need it.

Amazing. I want to be her when I grow up.

My “baby” may be fucking 3 damn years old, but he has cerebral palsy and can't walk, so yes, he goes everywhere in a stroller. Don't make assumptions about people when you don't know their circumstances. Microaggressions abound, indeed.

Here is my question, and maybe I’m misreading this — the parents have been sharing these pictures of the girl since 2009, and she is 18 now. Soooo...they were sharing pictures of their naked 11-year old?? Or that’s just when they started posting older pictures? Or that’s when she found out about it and started being…

As a parent of a special needs kiddo, thank you, and fuck this asshole with a rusty chainsaw. My kid is amazing and brilliant and does not exist to be the butt of anyone’s jokes. Least of all this unfunny piece of shit’s.

That book is amazing. I recommend the audiobook — Cupcake reads it herself, and her voice is just great. She has an amazing spirit.

Provisional Irish Republican Army? Kind of a mouthful, but so many of those traditional Irish names are.

Trump doesn’t have any mind-grapes. He has shriveled, dried-up little mind-raisins.

Is it wrong that my first thought upon seeing the little hole in the butt was that they’d make great bath toys? I should pick some up for my kid.

Not just surrogate, but campaign manager. I’m guessing she has a lot to do with this new focus, and so her comment is doubly revealing.

I often communicate with my friends solely via texted AD gifs.

It’s not really referred to as surrendering your license in Illinois if you’re doing it for non-disciplinary reasons, but conservative critics fail to make that distinction when they’re frothing about the First Lady’s license.