I'm not 100% sure I could sprint as fast as they run for 26.2 straight miles

TOO EASY

Britney Spears: [attends game]

There was also a little league, whichI did not participate in because I was afraid of getting beaned by those vicious 90 mph fastballs. I had no idea ten-year-olds can't throw that fast.

When I was in 4th grade, I joined the newly formed "Dad's Club" softball league. Being a new league, there were few regulations in place. So there was a notable lack of a mercy rule.
In one of our first games, we played a team with an above-average group of fourth graders. Meaning they could all hit. My team,…

Isn't that what I wrote? (eyes shift nervously around)

Chad Quatre-vingt Cinq doesn't quite have the same ring to it

Fun Fact: Is the only runner whose name is best pronounced by saying "marathon" with a mouthful of Cheerios

Mmmm a biscuit sounds good right now. Would go great with this cheese n rice and mother's fudge.

He tried to use his brief moment of fame to pick up a few hotties after the game but alas, they dropped the "nay, nay"

"Fuck!"

Man my initial inclination was that five tries wouldn't be worth it for this gif, and then I was right

Boy I hope they did one of that old Astros shortstop Funtbag Cuckstick

SHAKA CON

Roger Goodell: Apparently, some of you think there's been a double standard in the way we handle these incidents. Rest assured the league is taking appropriate action to rectify the situation.

Reached for comment, Hank replied "what in the name of holy fuck is going on"

How does the effective sports gambler usually make money? By having a standard unit bet and sticking with that at all times, or by picking spots and making big scores when they find a line out of place? Or is by playing the different books against each other (if their lines open differently)?

No but I hear they are fond of OJ and Mayo in Milwaukee

More like Joel Invaliid amirite

Hmmm.