"Close enough"

There is an easy way to know if you're being recorded though. If there's a Volga dashboard in the corner best to keep communications to a minimum

I think they really missed out here. He may be Indian, but he's a high school boy so the proper slur is "We want you to awkwardly cum three seconds after a girl unzips your pants then jam your finger in her and move it around a bit until she uncomfortably shuts you down but tell your friends you got LAAAIID"

Pictured: Man hits rock, bottom

+1

There were sightings of a red-nosed reindeer but it turned out to be Pat Summerall's ghost in the machine room

I hope he gets more of a chance than the last guy. To really get a good Pettine you have to give it some time.

+uno

Homer numbers? Steroid era players?

Personally I find the Fertittas to be a little warmed over and crusty, so I'll just try the scrambled eggs and a side of bacon. Can I substitute a fruit bowl for the hashbrowns? Thanks.

You know who was really good at making a cupcake disappear? Craig Stadler.

Goalies to Sean Newell: "f off"

He flopped

Awww, wook at the widdle baby killing machine. Who's claws will one day slice through its keeper's intestines like a knife through butter! Yours will! Yours will! Wook at your iddie biddie teef that one day will feast on the insides of the humans closest to you as police helplessly fill your cute widdle hide…

+1 Go Soonies!

Top uses for pliers and a cigarette lighter:

Here's baseball:

"Don't worry, it'll drop eventually"

[blank stare]

+1