+1

Ray I don't think your tiny shriveled testicles count as a "microbrewery".

Bernie wanted to drop it earlier but he was worried that, like everything else, his wife would pick it up.

Just move to Florida. You'll think everything you write is hilarious and perfect.

Great stuff Uwe. It's most impressive that you were able to write this all the way from Peru.

Yay!

Hee!

And that is the danger of asking Lindsay Lohan to trim her pubic hair.

In order to not upstage his wife's fabulous costume, expect Jay to come dressed as his QB Rating.

Ugh, Tom, stick to sports. If I want to read about a guy who's more interested in everyone else's business attempting to salvage the next three years I'll go to Politico!!1!

Step 1!: Lick bats

Ugh, do they really need to give more screen time to Paul Posluszny?

For those of you without an NRA membership card, you can still get in free with a gun.

Fortunately it's pretty easy to fix a Parrot head. Just a few shots of Depo-Provera into your local margarita machine should do the trick.

Man, those chairs got some seriously good air!

Nice.

It was nice of authorities to give Hernandez one final chance to model it during his perp walk.

That's true, but only because I laced a recent shipment of Morning Thunder® with Prozac and Doculax.

You are real retarded.