Dammit! This makes my Barry/Mets joke from yesterday look idiotic.

Can you send a cease & desist letter to the seemingly scores of psychotherapists who are giving their most dire patients tablet computers with internet browsers set to Deadspin as the homepage with Kinja accounts already logged-in and telling those same sick people to just tell the internet what they should be saying…

Rhetorical question?

Did the elk rot before Sharting could spit out the recipe?

A not-paying-close-enough-attention Paula Deen now has lots of unwanted jeans.

+1 vacation for us

+1

Whatever you say, Steven Spielberg.

Oh great, now it sounds like a toilet in here too.

Well of course. They don't regularly play football in prison.

Ha!

The WNBA's all-time leading scorer, of course, retired when Juwanna Mann 2: Erratic Follow-through died on the cutting room floor.

Are we sure that's not an homage to that scary guy that like to decapitalize everything?

Lovely.

"Cool if we come back for Game 8 though?"

In a first, the big 'winner' of this particular Super Tuesday will not be seen on a single TV come October.

Yay!

Yeah, says the guy that gets to go home to Alexia Fortunato.

Wait, I thought the Jonas Brothers were the no head band?

Ha!