"Show me the sodium thiopental!"

JMU invited Fergie to the game, but she took too long tucking in her penis.

Dorado is the first "canine athlete" to die in the Iditarod since 2009

Of course, the last Lou who refused to say rape was Cindy, simply because she could not stand the mere thought of a crepe.

+1

+1

I just hope they properly dry off the trombone afterwards. There's nothing worse than a corroded trombone, is there?

This Nashville/Friends crossover is not going to work.

Nice

Man, if that thing starts targeting innocent people, Tiger Woods is gonna win all the tournaments.

Watch out Ivan Nova!

"Condiment-colored nightmares" is what Rush Limbaugh calls his wet dreams.

Nice.

The last time, of course, that baseball had this type of power in the short hairs area was during the bush Administration.

"he hated all Americans" and black people, using the n-word.

Nice.

@Mets_PR

Those ladies are way overconfident. Most of them will die alone in their 70s.

In yet another effort to up the ante, ESPN has responded by developing a custom website for each NFL team with their own dedicated ESPN talent. So far, only Dana Jacobson has signed up to report on Phinlandia.com.

"You can't buy me, slavery is illegal!"