Throwing this in Oscar's face seems cruel and unusual - dude will never even get to experience the simple pleasure of a red sock.

I think the tl;dr goes at the end of the comment.

It's a nice visual.

Sorry, I don't follow women's sports.

Either way, I'm locking my back door!

Yay!

Football was my escape, my purpose, my identity. Football hid my secret...

In Marshall's defense, he heard that in the locker room, some of those guys went up to 11".

What's the big deal? I'd be ok with some murder in the rafters if I could just get off this damn Carnival Triumph.

Lucky bastards! I ordered a box of Brett Favre Cock Bars on Ebay and all I got was a case of Snickers.

The interview wasn't a universal success for USA Today, however. Their misguided pie chart department spent all day exploring the 3rd dimension to try to find the 10% they've been missing all along.

Can you please answer this Great Question over at your correspondence job?

Hee, hee!

Dummy.

Ha!

Nice.

Karrie smartly played her next two shots, noting "I'll worry about them when I get there."

Nice.

Yeah, but only because it reminded him of Annie.

Monster!