His legal team is currently Photoshopping this into an Under Armour "Protect This House" ad.

Well, it was...

[sees man over shoulder]

Fortunately, the last straw should be when they present the touching story of Mecca Lecca High.

Hee!

This is precisely why Adam Malysz opted to pursue ski jumping - he didn't want to have to lug around any more Poles.

+1

Ha!

[ ]!

Though she was game, simple physiology prevented them from getting to second base.

A useful guide for these people would be a dog.

Sadly, the spider left hungry, at least according to his account of the incident in Digest Golfer.

"Ted Vagina" is apparently also on the birth certificates of the kids on How I Met Your Mother.

Rumor has it that the only reason he didn't go pro is because he couldn't hit live staff.

Anybody who watched that Final Four knows that White's heart wasn't in it - he was satisfied enough with a sweet sixteen appearance.

Nice.

"They're all tied at #266 if you ask me."

Fine, I'll be the bad guy here. It's not the most ingenious plan by these guys, but man is it ever effective. I'm honestly disappointed these otherwise good kids got caught. It sounds like such a delicious crime Spree®.

Given their PED histories, I don't think Mike or Roger would've been too influenced by some shrink.

Believing they were the source of much misfortune, the rabbits gnawed each other's feet off moments after this picture was taken.