In his defense, Manziel was told it would be just him "and a Red Stripe".

You gotta admit, it's quite impressive that he's able stick to iamdick pentameter.

You mean beside his sentence?¿1¡

I haven't seen a linebacker this offensive since Ray Lewis murdered that person!

A similar thing happened to Tony Siragusa when he bent over to pick up an injured goose. I think it's quite curious, however, that he calls his Dockers "space and time."

That's odd...you'd think NBC's "ee it" program would want nothing to do with the capitals.

As somebody who was there, I can assure you that watching football on tv in 1964 was incredibly frustrating. I mean, the remote barely worked...sometimes I even had to hold one of my children while Mrs. Sparkles changed the channel.

David has no real idea how his life spiraled out of control, leading him to be an alcoholic, drug-addicted hack of a doctor. Oddly, he does suspect it was that one extra mai tai he ordered back at the '99 Pro Bowl that put him over the edge. But who knows...that's just Chao's Theory.

Nice try, Dora!

Mr. Burneko, this recipe is making me Raven-ous and I'd like to show my appreciation by doing the old 20+49er with you!

If Brown does win, NJ will have two consecutive governors who can talk for hours about their thoughts on icing.

Wait, I thought Dan Rafael were the two guys kissing in the 49ers post???

Great stuff, Ben. But it probably would've been easier to say that the Cowboys win Facebook because of their association with the pokey.

I still can't believe Uncle Phil's interview with Tuiasosopo.

Pictured: The only man more confused by a 'net than Nate Rider.

Dumbass. That reporter's name was Martin Lawrence.

To reinforce the lesson, UM brought in alum Jim Abbott to teach players the dangers of typing with one hand.

"Am I right Barr?" was also Tom Arnold's last resort when he couldn't discern between a roll and her vagina!!1!

It's still so hard to believe that this whole city was underwater just a few short years ago. It's great and all that they drained it, but man, if they hadn't, how cool would it be to see Whitney do this instead?

The ball has blamed Phil's lifelong motto of "see cup's good enough for me."