Hee!

In a figurative attempt to live up to his name, Matt hasn't seen his own penis in years.

Hee!

I'm surprised Sammy is this high tech - you'd think he would stick with the more traditional cork board.

He never graduated from the recreational side, but "Kennedy stalling for commercial" was JFK Jr's lifelong ambition.

Nice.

"Oh man! Pay it forward?"

This is bullshit - Oprah is a huge Armstrong fan and won't ask the serious questions. If you don't believe me, watch her show and check out the Livestrong band around her ring finger.

This makes more sense when you realize that their toilet paper is sponsored by Yellow Pages.

On the plus side, it would be the first time we've seen "Mark Sanchez," "arm" and "laser" in the same sentence.

Brent won't think it's too great when A.J. presents her with the MVP trophy, noting it's a thanks "for all the lays."

I am sorry that somebody tried to blow up you and your family today.

Watch out, Burneko!

If only Michael were as concerned with three letter words.

"Duh! You can even see that in our images."

Meanwhile, Sexy Rexy was hoping they'd focus on additional colors and bring in RG B.

There's a bit of a cover-up here in order to avoid claims of racism. Instead of the boxer/blazer outfit as described, the girls were actually told to dress as Julio Cesar Chavez Jr.

As someone who is desperate for his favorite player to get into the Hall, all I can say is H2 oh no!

Ha!

To be fair, people in Florida are morons.