time will come

Erik's gonna be hanging around these parts a bit later. Do try to be on your best behavior.

Poor, poor Lexi. I mean, when will women learn? Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater.

Yay!

He's used to people needing glasses to see his dick!

DC folks, I'm happy to save you hundreds of dollars on this one. Just give me $20, meet me behind the Qdoba on 11th Street, and I'll make it look my dick is cumming right at you.

Oh calm down already, Barry. People have been shitting on Pelicans for ages, since at least the modern stone age.

Actually, in this comparison, the door would fall harmlessly to the ground since the Jets have become completely unhinged.

Are we sure Greenway isn't a narc and he's not just setting bait for a Mark?

Local Drug Addict Alpha: Yo man, let's get some coke!

Ha!

+1 noble profession

Ha!

Don't worry, Clips - you can't always impress the lady behind the bench. Take it from a guy who has sent dozens of erotic pics of his scrotum to Elena Kagan with not even a booby shot in return.

Interestingly, each of Hoppes' birthday pieces was published one day early, as Lynn is under the impression that everybody was born yesterday.

Ha!

Ever the entrepreneur, Joel Monaghan moved across the pond and opened up a Drivers E.D. school.

This may seem like a wet dream for Buffalo fans, but it's really just going to end with a wet nap.

You could be a marathoner like Raysism if you'd just get some exercise picking up the low-hanging fruit.

-Bill & Ted, on their adventure