What a coincidence! Former PSU administrator Jerry Sandusky had almost the same exact quote on his online profile. "Nothing is older than yesterday's success."*

There's a chance your biological parents did .

Since I do a real life Barry FMK, and now that I've gotten head from Bonds, will you marry me Barry?

[dying]

Barry, please don't listen to any of these Deadspin smart alecks. You're great and they are trolls. They think they are smart and great, but they'd embarrass themselves should they be put in front of a camera, in Melrose's place.

"Don't worry Arian, it's not necessary to save yourself for marriage anymore. Keep fucking that chicken!"

Ok.

Niece.

Some of these are spell check errors, but I'm pretty sure he just copied "Rowdy White" from Hank Williams Jr.'s match.com preferences.

Don't worry, if I know my pistons, they'll rise right back up.

I'm surprised the kids at Jedediah E. Burke High can concentrate at all with those hilarious daguerreotype-caps posted around the school.

Given that picture, I'd say they are already talking to Adobe.

Look, guy, I'm sure that big is beautiful, but there's no need to flaunt it with that stupid Montana hoodie.

"Give me free books or give me death! Gary Johnson in '12!"

For results on all of your favorite PWBA events, head on over to 170towin.com.

Ha!

And here I thought Coldplay made yellow look bad.

Weird! Three Inches And Sixty Pounds Later was Jenn Sterger's book about her fake tits and their impact on courting superstar QBs.

Sock-her?

Mr. Roenick, is it true that Gary Bettman is such a tight ass and control hungry that he makes you carry around his butt plug on your collar?