Nothing! My company just sent me to Australia for a few months.

/pats self on back

I'm so hard right now.

All day scratching your head? Sounds like somebody has been hooking up with UweBollocks again.

Well this pretty much confirms that Raysism is 98% of all the commenters here.

That's what we called Blossom!

I haven't seen this many pixelated former stars since I got caught blowing George Michael and Mayim Bialik in that 7-11!!1!

+1

Jerry Sandusky actually tried to recruit Al, noting "it's surprisingly warm in the teens."

The rest of the Wizards had the same problem until they removed their hats.

Huh, and all this time I thought OMSK was an exclamation used by young Jewish left-handed baseball players.

It's a bit less shocking when you learn that all five kids were named Warner.

This may not count, but one time I saw All Over But The Sharting, Same Sad Echo, LBabe and Lamar Etard all playing the "cookie game" in the starred commenter's green room. That was scary, although not nearly as frightening as seeing Raysism dressed as a giant Oreo. Or finding out why they referred to lauren_jo as the…

One guy that's happy to see Lance stripped of his yellow jerseys is gay R. Kelly.

She didn't even give two weeks? Ugh, leave it to her to leave on short notice.

Similarly, my wife was cool with my "mesh for flesh" rule until I extended it to lap dances.

Well, as Jerry himself likes to say, "opinions are like assholes, I've split a lot of them."

That voice! More like Tom Lay, iknowinmyheartiamrite.

Players were adamant that Soula not bring any of her employees to the game, lest they suffer the same curse as the Chicago Cubs.

Go Daddy better be careful getting into a limbo contest with Danica. We all know she's never even been close to a pole.