More like "GOP U 'jols," knowwhatimean?

I'm glad Gawker isn't on that list!

Do you ever question your own truthfulness when you stop to consider that the most famous David of all time had no interest in shielding his "special purpose"?

Is "Undetstated" a nod to Ichiro's small penis size, or is he hung like Benny Agbayani?

"Mr. Armstrong! Mr. Armstrong! Should this scandal reach a federal courtroom, which Amendment would you invoke?"

To be fair, you did marry a Filipino ladyboy.

[cums]

How'd you get her to stay still for long enough???

Yes, and it's doing wonders for your Q-tip Score!

Oh you, Emmitt.

Furthermore, is it even possible to anticipate Sharting that far in advance? Thus, could it actually be all over already?

This really shouldn't come as much of a surprise. The Giants are known for leaving a shitty, beat-up, past-its-prime car out front as a decoy to protect the other players. The only difference this time is that David had to make the trip to SF.

Good on you, Beyonce! It must be especially sweet since her former group, Destiny's Child, was the runner-up to play the Super Bowl countless times back in the 90s. It probably had something to do with their lackluster proposed playlist: Bills, Bills, Bills. [repeat] [repeat] [repeat]

Ha!

Looks more to me like he is interviewing for the Rockies' vagrant manager position, amirite?

Sounds like Rudi has deemed all of his goods as hucksterable.

Not experiencing a painful #2? A-Rod's stretched out butt!

The worst part is that A-Rod just stands there while people say this. Because he loooovvveesss dicks.

The real shame is that the glass didn't shatter - I hear the entire campus was full of people eager to clean up the pieces.

Stupid idiot should know his SEC audiences. LSU fans have no interest in bare asses, whereas tide fans just love the moon.