Flutie’s dad was long rumored to have a better arm than Doug, but who knew his mother was also better at passing.

Prayers to the Flutie family.

When I take my family to a public sacrifice to appease the cruel god of the void, I really hate it when an acolyte of Ner’huul makes an extra flourish with his bone knife or, and gosh this is THE WORST, when the High Priest makes a big show of eating the heart of the spring virgin. It’s like, act like you’ve BEEN…

- Vin Baker, before buying iced tea.

Look how cute Otto the skateboarding dog is.

This is an arbitrary as hell record. Why does the skateboarding doggy have to pass through a human tunnel to set a record?

You mean “student athletes”? Yeah, that is indeed a terrible catchphrase.

And why is LSU’s official online store allowed to sell a ton of No. 7 gear?

EMCC are not acting like a bunch of Einsteins.

Abdulaziz al-Omari: “No, seriously, where did you get the idea?”
Mohamed Atta: “A little birdie told me.”

So a group of people dominated an area for many years until outsiders moved in, took over everything, and routinely massacred the original inhabitants. Interesting.

It's because he's Blake, isn't it?

Banned for “Anne Hathaway”

The last time I saw that many personlized handshakes Michael J. Fox was sending out Christmas cards.

Croce sounds like a real Kane enabeler.