I would absolutely make it my mission to make that woman’s life as miserable as possible.

When you work in a place that was literally occupied by Nazis, and where orphans tended to “disappear,” you have to figure some weird shit is going to go on.

ABBA counts double.

Asks for FUCKING DIRECTIONS WHEN OBVIOUSLY LOST.

34. Keeps mad laboratory neat, cleans own twisted glassware, takes equal responsibility for any spawned horror beasts. Looks good in slightly burnt labcoat.

Should without going insane be added or is that a bonus?

25. Knows the words to disco songs.

33. Ability to summon gibbering insane, howling maws of twisted flesh from the non-Euclidean abyss beyond our plane.

My freshman year of college, I was far from home (I am from CO, college was in PA), and knew I probably wouldn't have the money to fly back for dinner. My roommate offered to let me come back to New Hampshire with her and I agreed. A bunch of friends offered me places but I had already agreed to go with the roommate.…

Can someone save this post for worst wedding guest ever? Monster.

My parents have been married 34 years. My mom is a white American preacher's kid and my dad is a brown Muslim from a foreign country with a funny accent. So when my mom told her father that she was marrying my dad, he was not happy and refused to pay for the wedding. My parents were super poor so they couldn't afford…

You sound like the problem with this wedding, tbh.

Fake story BTW.