People don’t always have a choice about flying.

How about we all just live two doors down from our families so there’s no travel necessary? Or none of our children get to know their cousins / grandparents / parents’ places of origin? How about nobody gets to bring home their recently adopted kids because you can’t fly with them? I’m all for flights that are more…

This story is GLORIOUS.

True story: some guest’s +1 did this at my cousin’s wedding; it was basically a wedding dress if you married (hah) a little black dress and a wedding dress. Office printer paper white and more lace than the actual bride’s dress—justified, of course, by the fact that the +1 had been married 5 months ago and considered…

Oh I have the best story about a wedding proposal...

Yep. I bet Kara or Jia would write one if they were getting paid sweet for it.

“It really is the World Cup of Fraud, and today we are issuing FIFA a red card.”

A friend ran into her kid’s kinder teacher having a margarita one night at a restaurant, and when the kid asked, “Mommy, why does Ms. S have a margarita?” she replied, “For the same reason Mommy does, sweetheart. Just let her relax.”

A) that sucks, what dickweeds. B) This is also amusing to me, because all my friends who are teachers drink SO DAMN MUCH. Mostly because teaching is so stressful and they are just so stressed and tired all the time.

I firmly believe that all Back-to-School nights should feature at least one ritualistic slaying of a busy-body parent to set an example to the rest of them that they can fuck right the hell on off and stop thinking that public schools are your personal daycares for your kids.

Maybe he waited to alter his appearance more in public (aka growing hair out, painting nails and shaving down his throat) and come out until the date for his surgery was on the horizon?? I’m not saying that fame & fortune had nothing to do with influence in getting surgery faster than your average person, it’s just a…

For now; just wait until the first time they tell him “no.” We’ll be looking at a Category 5 Lohan.

So ... not really spoilery since the show has since moved far ahead, but here’s what happened in the books (which isn’t that exciting, so not really a spoiler either):

Matty Coleman!

I saw someone one somewhere point out to parallels of tonight’s episode to Bronn singing his song about Dorne: it’s really all about the ending. The episode as a whole was a tough, especially the final scene. But if you have patience, there will be a payoff at the end of the story arc (I hope).

What has five hands and is that conflicted?

Oh Kylie. Being secretly engaged at 17 seems cute and romantic but it’s actually just stressful and weird. Especially when the guy who runs your dad’s favorite gas station (and is the father of your secret fiancé’s good friend) accidentally spills the beans while your dad is in there getting coffee. Not that I know…

So this isn’t really the celebrity being a dick, but I love this story. When I was studying abroad in Spain in 2007, Superbad had just come out the summer before, and it was opening in Spain in October. McLovin and Jonah Hill were at a club that my friend and I were going to for her birthday; we were leaving for…

“Because she’s mean Irish.”

Do we come in a non-mean variety?

My dad employed the “once a week” thing. That, and when he’s out to eat (like dinner with family at a restaurant). Now Saturday is Pepsi day and the man is super excited about it!