More like a desperate cry to be Kylie circa 2000.

Government interfering with good, bootstrapping, god-fearing, gun-toting Republicans: BAD; government interfering with poor, lazy, drug-using, abortion-having, communist heathens: KEEPING AMERICA GREAT.

Holy crap, can they just stop? Aren’t these the same people calling for declawing the so-called “Nanny State”?

You can’t eat your BOOTSTRAPS. How else will you pull yourself up? Jeez.

their bootstraps, presumably

I like to send awkward sexts because I’m horrible at dirty talk.

Small government, wooooo!

As opposed to the video for “Blurred Lines” which was just to many cocks.

Rob Gronkowski fan fiction OF COURSE

lighting a cigarette and shouting about U.S. relations with Venezuela

As a white man, I vote no, because any recognition that people who don’t look like me get means that I am diminished somehow. I’m not sure how, but it totally means that.

And I can only assume that Jorah’s next words were:

I was just listening to Michelle Branch songs and noticed my favourite album of hers came out FOURTEEN years ago. What is life.

Wash your mouth out. Dolly Parton! Loretta Lynn! Tammy Wynette! The Dixie Chicks! June Carter! Gillian Welch!

I kind of want the Rock to bench press me.

It’s about friendship.

She was the nice girl who got corrupted, got the guy, and then, after got his car.

“the masterpiece Cruel Intentions”

Noooooooo, please.