It sounds like, either way, you run a legitimate risk of ending up exhausted and cleaning up poop. Damned if you do, dammed if you don't.

Serious question: What year do you think it will be before one of these morally bankrupt fairy tale remakes will feature a non lily-white lead.

Now, if they took over Fashion Police, I'd totally watch it.

As much as I'd love to snark — and god knows I will about the Palins and their absolutely zero integrity — I am impressed about the guy and his Medal of Honor.

How are they going to react when the realize Obama awarded him that Medal of Honor??? Get your popcorn ready because this could get entertaining!!!!!! ;)

The ring looks nice. That's the only nice thing I have to say.

My rabidly-conservative Facebook friends (who I keep both out of a sense of loyalty b/c of family friendships and also because it keeps me informed about the gross stuff being said about various topics) are all over this as "so American!" and wishing them the best. I have a feeling if Bristol was a different race,…

The biggest thing I've heard for the last four months is, 'Thanks for ruining my childhood.' It's going to be on my tombstone when I die. It's so dramatic. Honestly, the only way I could ruin your childhood is if I got into a time machine and went back and made you an orphan.

You would think Ghostbusters was fucking Casablanca or Citizen Kane the way some of these dildos are acting. Last time i watched the movie i don't recall seeing "Penis Required" printed anywhere on the proton packs. Now don't get me wrong, i love me some bustin. But let's not forget this movie started with a supposed…

Two things.

By this logic, only Native Americans should be allowed to become Miss America.

Oh man. I'm glad they let you do it anyway. It means a lot to me to be a Godmother — and I do plan to teach my Goddaughter about the teachings of the Bible like I promised I would in the ceremony... like this:

Render unto Caesar, motherfuckers.

Let's have a toast for the douchebags*,

Fear of a Black Planet

Black Twitter: On point as always.

A friend of mine on Facebook came up with this:

A buddy played this one night on the jukebox in the gay bar (I was SHOCKED they even had it!) and we both proceeded to interpretative dance and scream out the lyrics in front of the now afraid other patrons and bartender.

I don't have much to add, except to say that I'm a teacher and there are a number of students I know that I really, REALLY wish I could look at and say, "You're an asshole. And you're going to continue being an asshole the rest of your life. I can see it already."

This is how I feel right now: