Might be late for her kids. Ya gotta start 'em young.

Oh, for sure man.

"Well, Mr. President I'm sorry that today isn't what you were expecting and I agree that History will almost certainly remember her as being the most important member of the Scooby Gang but Selma, sir, is the city in Alabama"

"No, George, they're not going to play Sweet Home Alabama."

"But George, I thought you didn't care about black people?"

Yup, exactly. And note that now she has kids, she's shitting on people without them- because apparently only mothers can meet deadlines and multitask and blah, blah, blah.

Don't schedule meetings with anyone, parent or not, at 4:30 pm. Unless you are a monster.

I work across the hall from my dear friend Lana who is from Iraq. On her latest holiday she went home to visit her family. ISIS was rumored to be about 50 miles away in the mountains hiding for cover. Lana proudly showed me a picture of herself holding a fully loaded AK-47. " Court, I'll shoot these motherfuckers in…

You don't count it by the thrust, sweetie.

I think Kim looks more like one of those Dark Crystal geldings.

I re-enacted the video—complete with Kate Bush-impersonating singing and dancing—for a friend who'd never heard the song, and she didn't believe me it was real. So I played it for her and she was awed.

I have two grey cats that are sisters. Their names are Emily and Charlotte Bronte.

I'm such a sucker for Byronic heroes and major bummers and heaths. I've actually been to where the Bronte's grew up and walked up to Top Withins. It's probably my favorite place I've ever been to.

Literally every one of my best friendships (and also my fiancee) were founded on an obsession with Wuthering Heights. Obviously we need to be bffs.

I so wish we went to college together!

Sometimes I'll do my hair in Princess Leia buns and boss the cat around.

i have a stuffed animal platypus from the early 90s that i have fabricated an entire personality for. he has a boomerang business on ebay, hates junk food, gets frequent ear infections, and loves selena gomez. i know...im a sick person. but i love him!!

I won't share my wine unless you bring food.

Heathcliff, it's me—Cathy.

Perfect.