The only good thing around Wrigleyville was the Music Box, which would put on 14 hour sci fi movie marathons. Ever wonder what wins out, instant coffee or copious amounts of weed and booze? Music Box is the place for you.

Another thing I don’t get: how did this guy afford all this? An AR-15 runs you something like at least $800, and ammo isn’t cheap either. I don’t know the going rate for smoke bombs, but I’m assuming they aren’t cheap. How does a 19 year old highschool dropout afford that?

They were definitely ready for some football.

My parents still live in Maine, and a few months ago, my dad was thinking of getting a gun and taking some classes. He didn’t, because apparently every range in Maine requires you to join the NRA in order to take classes. It’s insane.

It reminds me what that chef from Joe Beef said about the double-down. Something along the lines of “the existence of the double-down is God’s way of telling you that you have too much money.”

I grew up in Maine, so we were an LL Bean family. The return policy got us to the point where we actually feeling bad. We had LL Bean dog beds, and 3 times we returned them after several years of use. We could’ve done it again, but we just felt guilty.

JT has no respect for Prince. He rented out Paisley Park for his album drop party, and got a liquor license.

It’s horrible, but also this whole “my roots are in the country” schtick is so transparent. Dude, you’re from Memphis.

He’s also supposedly only playing with his new backing band, “The Tennessee Boys” *retches*. They’ve put out one album, which came out literally (literally) yesterday. They’re either playing someone else’s music, or original music almost nobody has heard before. There is no way this isn’t horrible.

And replace “The Tennessee Boys” with The Hold Steady.

Please please no

I remember Rose Red scaring my pants off when I was 12. I’m pretty sure if I watched it again now, it doesn’t really hold up.

I came across this the other day, if you really want to go above and beyond the call of duty? http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014/02/ultimate-fully-loaded-vegan-nachos-recipe-food-lab-vegan-experience.html

The restaurant is good, though definitely a special-occasion type of place. They also have a pretty good cocktail bar in the basement (similarly a special-occasion type of place).

Best halftime show ever. If he was around to do it again, in Minneapolis, people would’ve torn the new stadium apart.

Don’t worry, he’ll be on immediately after to call Joe Kennedy a LOSER.

I’d like to take this opportunity to recommend the blog Full House Reviewed. Every episode of Full House, reviewed by a guy that absolutely hates Full House. It’s glorious.

In college, I took a girl I was dating to Medieval Times for Valentine’s Day.

It isn’t simple in any way. What are you talking about?

Which part of Switzerland? My family is from Neuchatel, and highly judgmental of other parts of the country.