And we as a country will go boldly forward and continue to not do a goddamn thing.

Who better to deal with litigating women’s reproductive rights? It just makes sense. 

Sometimes I feel like you just aren’t ready for some football...

When I was a kid, my aunt bought me into one of those Adopt-A-Manatee programs as a birthday present. I got a picture of it and a certificate with its name on it and everything.

I had to autodraft for my fantasy league this season, and ended up spending half of my (fake) auction money on Blake Bortles. I look forward to a somewhat successful start, followed by him Bortling his ACL by week 4.

“Fuck New Hampshire, fuck Vermont, fuck Massachusetts, extra fuck Maine, SUPERFUCK Connecticut, and I couldn’t give less of a shit about Rhode Island if you paid me.”

I’ve managed to obtain an advance copy:

I know you think the critics can go get fucked, but this is the best takedown of DFW and his crew that I’ve seen. I’d have to agree with a solid 90% of it, if not more.

Skin Flute recitals

Growing up in Maine, I worked at the Lobster Festival for a couple summers. I didn’t feel any particular guilt about it, and still don’t after having read DFW’s essay, but it is definitely hokey as hell.

“When the number of people with health insurance declines and costs skyrocket, the American people will know who’s to blame.”

Fun fact about that album: Prince played every single instrument on it. The guy was an incredibly versatile artist.

WRT Fox News, I was at the gym today. Half of the TVs are playing CNN and half are playing Fox News. CNN is non-stop Bannon coverage. Fox? A segment on dogs and cats who can surf. They are trying to get everyone to bury their heads in the sand so deeply they never see sun again.

I would prefer to pay someone to punch him. While it is very punchable, I don’t need to be washing bronzer off of my knuckles for the next few days.

Just go for it and call this idiot Sebastian.

In a follow-up email, the spokesman replied “Correct, there is no home for hate here. We aren’t Hugo Boss.”

Every time some version of that gif pops up, I end up watching it for about a solid minute.

As a former resident of Maine, believe me, he’s losing it. Having spent the past few years watching LePage go from run-of-the-mill asshole to the kind of “leader” where reporters feel the need to ask him if he’s OK, this has all the same hallmarks.

I can’t find it right now, but Aziz Ansari has a bit about R Kelly. Apparently during an interview following the peeing-on-an-underage-girl scandal, the interviewer asked R Kelly: “Are you attracted to underage girls?” Easiest softball question. All you need to say is “no.” Instead, R Kelly said “Define underage.”

Well I for one am willing to put my faith in the Dallas Cowboys as rock-solid seekers of justice.